The Blog

June 15, 2013 by Amber · Leave a Comment

saturday surfing2

Finds of the Week:

After Newtown shooting, mourning parents enter into the lonely quiet, Washington Post — this is beautifully and heartbreakingly written, and brought me to tears…all we can do is send our love and get that gun legislation moving!!
A queen’s message to girls: More than tiaras and cupcakes, CNN World — a letter from Queen Rania Al Abdullah, queen of Jordan, to all girls of the world.
Severe adverse maternal outcomes among low risk women with planned home versus hospital births in the Netherlands: nationwide cohort study, British Medical Journal — the short of it is, planned home birth for low risk women is safer than hospital birth.
SIDS: Risks and Realities What are the real risks for Sudden Infant Death Syndrome?, Psychology Today — a look at a recently released study on bedsharing and why it may be shortsighted — special focus on the role co-sleeping plays in maintaining a positive breastfeeding relationship.
You Made That, NY Times — an interactive tool for making and sharing abstract art. Fun.

If you are reading this in a reader, visit my blog to see the pins.

Filed Under: Saturday Surfing ·

June 13, 2013 by Amber · 2 Comments

June 10, 2013 by Amber · Leave a Comment

saturday surfing2

I was so going to write this post on time and then I decided last night that it would be much better to curl up in bed with Zara for just an hour or two…and then the next thing I knew, it was 8:30 in the morning — which means that for the first time in longer than I can remember, I actually got a 12 hour night’s rest. Not so wonderful for blogging but wonderful for my mental state. That extra boost of energy turned out to be especially helpful on this unexpectedly trying day — the highlight of which was when I forgot for about 10 or 15 minutes that I was filling the kitchen sink to wash dishes, and completely flooded the kitchen and laundry room. (On the upside, I now don’t have to mop the kitchen floors.) Anyway, that’s about enough complaining for today; now back to my finds of the week:

Answering Harvard’s question about my personal life, 52 years later, Washington Post — a letter written in response to a 1961 letter from a Harvard admissions committee which said, “Our experience, even with brilliant students, has been that married women find it difficult to carry out worthwhile careers in planning, and hence tend to have some feeling of waste about the time and effort spent in professional education… Therefore, for your own benefit, and to aid us in coming to a final decision, could you kindly write us a page or two at your earliest convenience indicating specifically how you might plan to combine a professional life in city planning with your responsibilities to your husband and possible future family?” (hat tip Lisa Belkin)
Assorted, Literary Mama — this one is by a dad about dropping his daughter off at summer camp (creative non-fiction). Love it.
Famous Authors’ Handwritten Outlines for Great Works of Literature, Flavor Wire – take a peek into the process of some of your favorite authors, from James Salter and Sylvia Plath to J.K. Rowling
Stress is Not a Synonym for Depression, the broad side — a piece about the seriousness of teenage depression

Did you know that it’s 20th anniversary of Reading Rainbow? Here’s a video of The Doors singing the theme song. <3

Pins of the Week:
(If you are reading this in a reader, click here to see the pins on my blog.)

(If you are reading this in a reader, click here to see the pins on my blog.)

See more Pins on Pinterest.

Filed Under: Saturday Surfing, Three: Wyoming · Tagged With: Favorite Things

June 8, 2013 by Amber · 2 Comments

Now that Zara is most definitely not a newborn and I’m fairly certain that I have survived the postpartum period, I wanted to take a moment to finally write about my post home birth experience. This will be my last post about our home birth experience (at least until our next baby). If you missed them, the other posts I have included in this series were about my prenatal care, preparing a sibling to participate in a birth, safety and supplies, managing pain in labor, and, of course, Zara’s Birth Story.

In most cases following a normal vaginal birth, you leave the hospital or birth center after two days of care and you don’t see your doctor or midwife for another six weeks. Sure, you can call if you have a problem or question, but rarely is someone checking up on you. Some hospitals do follow up phone calls for breastfeeding mothers, but many do not (even the “alternative” hospital where Nora was born did not do that) and if you formula feed you wouldn’t get a phone call at all. That means that aside from visits with baby’s doctor, many mothers go from an environment of 24/7 support preceded by weekly prenatal checkups to an environment with absolutely no professional care. Especially for first-time mothers, this can be an incredibly scary and exhausting time. It’s no wonder so many women give up on breastfeeding or experience postpartum depression when they don’t even have the support of their birth care provider.

Following Zara’s birth I mentioned several times how much better I felt and how much quicker I felt better than I had after Nora’s birth. Some of my improved postpartum experience was probably due to me being a second time mother. For example, this time it only took me 9 days to get into a good breastfeeding rhythm, whereas last time it took me about six weeks. But other things I firmly believe had to do with just how wonderful my birth experience was.

Even though I have no major complaints about Nora’s birth, there were still things about it that I thought could be better, and how I felt after each birth was like night and day. I was and still am amazed at how great I felt after Zara was born; I even told my midwife, Sybille, within two or three days of Zara being born that I didn’t even feel like I had given birth. After Nora was born I had to have stitches for two small tears; the stitches did not dissolve properly and contributed to my discomfort (I could barely sit down for a while). When Zara was born, I lost such a small amount of blood that my midwife remarked upon it, and I barely bled at all following the birth. Because I was home, more relaxed in the water, and in a better position I didn’t tear at all during Zara’s birth. Afterward I felt no discomfort sitting and I was up and about a birthday baking cake just two days later. If it wasn’t for the baby attached to my breast and the excess skin flopping around my middle, I never would have known that I’d just birthed a baby.

Every single part of the home birth experience was infinitely better than my hospital birth, from prenatal to postpartum, and I continued to be impressed by the attentiveness and thoughtfulness Sybille put into my care even after Zara was born. She came to check on us on day 1, day 3, day 5, day 10, day 12, and did a final follow up just before we moved off Nantucket; in between visits for the first two weeks she called or texted me every day, and she was available to answer questions whenever I had them. At each visit she continued to ask me about my diet, monitored my vitals and uterus size when necessary, and checked Zara’s weight and vitals. Sybille did (or offered to do) everything that a hospital would have done for Zara, including the PKU. She provided suggestions for herbal remedies to reduce swelling and brewed herbs for me to use in a sitz bath, which was something that had not even been suggested to me following Nora’s birth. And better than all the medical care, Sybille provided a significant amount of emotional support and follow up that just isn’t offered by hospital-based care providers. Through the whole experience I really felt like Sybille cared for me and my family, and we have become friends through the experience of Zara’s birth. She came to a post birth picture viewing session after we got the pictures from Lisa and she even cleaned our fridge for us when we moved! We have continued to talk via email and Skype since I moved to Wyoming. I can’t imagine a birth experience any better than the one we had in Nantucket, and I can’t wait to do it again. I just hope that whenever that time we can find a midwife just as good as Sybille.

Filed Under: Birth, Three: Wyoming · Tagged With: home birth

June 6, 2013 by Amber · Leave a Comment

Today, Miss Zara Bea is five months old.

She has the darlingest smile and the most delicious little toes at the end of chunky little legs we just can’t get over.

She is a rolly-polly plump baby girl, and after having tiny baby Nora, I’m in love with having a solid baby who quite visably loves nursing and milk.

At five months, Zara is just as easy going as she was on day one. She sleeps six hours on her own to start the night and then comes to our bed to finish out the night. Zara is just starting to sit up and having moments where she can hold herself up, but I think we’re still a couple weeks away from sitting unsupported. I borrowed a baby jumper from a friend and she loves standing in it, which lets me get a few things done. She is drooling up a storm and can’t get enough of her fingers, so we suspect teeth might not be too far off although none have peeked through yet.

She can complain with the best of them and isn’t shy about sharing her wants, but it doesn’t take much to keep Zara happy, especially if her big sister is around.

Nora still dotes on her and loves to help me out, and Zara obviously loves Nora right back. In fact, right now big sister is the person most able to elicit giggles from our bumble bee, which, I’ll admit, makes me a teensy bit jealous though I won’t complain as long as they keep getting along!

Every day I am thankful for my two beautiful, happy, and healthy little girls. I cannot believe that Zara is only a month away from six months! I guess it is time to start planning a half birthday celebration and a first food for our version of an Annaprashana.

Filed Under: Three: Wyoming · Tagged With: Life

June 4, 2013 by Amber · Leave a Comment

Today was the first full day Chris had off in months. We slept in, ate pancakes at 10:30, then met the inspector at our almost new house (all’s well on that front), and spent a bunch of time together as a family. Chris got lots of lazy, put-up-his-feet time on the couch to make up for all those long work days standing in the kitchen, although he was pretty much always the designated baby chair and/or preschooler trampoline any time he sat down.We also decided to let Nora pick something special to do. She has been eyeing the rock wall at the rec center, so we ended up spending part of the afternoon there climbing and swimming at the pool. 2013_06 I was so, so proud of Nora! She was incredibly brave and climbed at least 7 or 8 feet up. I fully expected this to be one of those things she says she wants to do and then changes her mind at the actual moment; boy did she prove me wrong.

After the rec center and a couple of short naps to rejuvenate, we had dinner and celebrated Chris being home with a surprise Nora helped me cook up.

I decided sort of last minute that I wanted to make a dessert and so I was stuck making do with what we had. We have no chocolate (my normal go-to sweet) and no eggs, so I had to get creative in what I could do, and thus this pie was born.

It’s my normal all-butter pie crust with a lemon pudding (thickened with cornstarch since we have no eggs) on the bottom and fresh blueberries on top.It turned out surprisingly well and seems like a perfect light summer dessert, so I thought I’d share the recipe. If you make one yourself, please let me know how it turns out.

Ingredients

1 pie crust, baked until golden brown
2 tablespoons cornstarch
1/2 cup sugar
2 cups whole milk
2 tablespoons lemon zest
1/4 cup fresh lemon juice
2 tablespoons unsalted butter
1 lb fresh blueberries, rinsed and picked over for stems

Directions

Prepare pie crust and bake empty until golden brown.

To make pudding, whisk together cornstarch, sugar, and a pinch of salt in a 1 1/2-quart heavy saucepan, then whisk in milk until smooth. Add lemon zest. Bring to a boil over moderate heat, whisking constantly, then boil, whisking constantly, 2 minutes. Remove from heat and whisk in lemon juice and butter.

Pour pudding into baked pie crust and top with blueberries. Gently press berries into the top of the pudding with the back of a spoon. Allow pie to chill in the refrigerator for at least two hours before serving or until pudding is set. Serve cold.

Filed Under: Recipes · Tagged With: Food

June 3, 2013 by Amber · Leave a Comment

I didn’t get a chance to put this up yesterday, which I’d like to claim was because I was catching up on emails or cleaning house or being otherwise productive, but instead I’ll admit it was because I was finishing up season three of my latest discovery and love, Downton Abbey. I can’t believe I now have to wait until January for season four! At least there will be one less distraction to keep me away from the blog…

Finds of the Week:

The Case For Vegetarianism Delivered By A Toddler, NPR — Video (in Portuguese with subtitles) of a little boy who is realizing that the octopus on his plate used to be alive. I’ve been thinking a lot about raising kids as vegetarians and hope to get a post out on this soon.
Genetic and Environmental Influences on Daytime and Nighttime Sleep Duration in Early Childhood, Pediatrics — This study found that nighttime sleep duration is largely influenced by genetic factors with an environmental time-window influence at ∼18 months, which just goes to show how important nighttime parenting is — no matter what sleep training or not you try to do with your baby, it may not do a single thing to change baby’s sleep patterns before 18 months.
The Gift of Siblings, NY Times — Nora has taken to telling me lately that she wants 10 babies in our family. While I don’t expect that to happen, I’d love to give her lots of siblings.
Welcoming Theodore, Documenting Delight — I love Georgia’s videos and photos. Next baby, I want a birth video like this!

This Week’s Pins:

Filed Under: Saturday Surfing · Tagged With: Favorite Things

June 1, 2013 by Amber · 5 Comments

This week, which started with Chris’ and my sixth wedding anniversary, has been about exactly two things.

The biggest of those things being dance. From ballet,

to hip hop

and tap,

we had a very busy week preparing for this evening’s dance recital extravaganza.

This is the first year that Nora did dance and I wasn’t quite sure what to expect — especially since we moved halfway through the year and ended up signing her up for two more types classes than she was doing in Nantucket. But after today, I could not have been more proud of her.

This week we braved wind and rain to go to tech rehearsals, dress rehearsals, and a recital for three different dances. Because of the costume changes and me still being nervous about leaving her with people and in places I don’t know, I ended up volunteering to stay behind stage in the dressing room filled with little girls. It was fun, but also stimulation overload for Nora, Zara, and me, and after three days in a row of dance fever, I can definitely assure you we will never, ever be signing up for Toddlers and Tiaras. Even if my sweet girl would totally win.Clearly by not signing up for something like that, we are just saving all those other girls from the heartbreak of loss. :-)

Besides being ridiculously cute, I have to say, I was very impressed with how well Nora danced, both from memory and watching her teacher. She has continued to blossom the past few months and there was absolutely no sign of that worrisomely shy little girl from last spring. I thought my heart might burst from the joy of watching her excitedly dance around on stage. And I couldn’t help but laugh at the seriousness with which she made sure to always stay on her tape mark on the floor (sometimes stopping dancing just to make sure she was still where she was supposed to be). Just as soon as I get the DVD, you better believe there will be a video on YouTube.

And as if dance cuteness wasn’t enough, I’m also excited to announce that as of today, we are officially under contract on a house. The second thing this week was all about was finding a house to help us all maintain our sanity and happiness, and after lots of online research and lots of house tours, we found one we liked.

971194_573091656069552_1724047701_n

The one I shared on Instagram earlier in the week was indeed a keeper, and today we reached an agreement on price which means that if all goes well, in six weeks we will be moving again — although this time for good. I don’t think Chris and I could have given each other a better anniversary present than our very first home.

Filed Under: Three: Wyoming · Tagged With: Favorite Things, Life, Moving

May 27, 2013 by Amber · 2 Comments

It has been three months since we moved to Wyoming and though we miss our Nantucket life and friends, we’re now fully integrated into our new community and finding things to love. I started a La Leche League group in April and have been pleased with both the turnout and the support from the community, including getting a $500 grant to start the lending library. The girls and I have found all sorts of fun activities to do here and I am in the process of (hopefully) starting a homeschool co-op, so Wyoming is feeling more and more like home. I don’t think I’ve ever met a town more filled with friendly and welcoming people. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Chris is somewhat of a local celebrity — this town is so starved for good food everyone is super excited when they hear what brought us here — and both of us being in the paper on the same day has been getting me recognized around town, too.

IMG_20130512_205028 (1)

There was a huge article about Chris’ restaurant in the business section of the paper and I was on the cover in an article about breastfeeding on Mother’s Day. Suffice it to say, we have both been thoroughly welcomed to the west.

I have to say, this adventure is turning out much less scary than anticipated. I did miss daffodil fun this spring, but I can’t say I’m missing the raucous Memorial Day crowds this weekend. And we’ve discovered that = a milk-and-cookie skype date can go a long way during any moments of island homesickness.

We may have made Wyoming our home, but we’re still in the process of trying to find our home in Wyoming.

When we first moved here, we moved into an apartment which was the only rental option we could find from a distance. I was pleasantly surprised with the apartment’s location, and of course the lower cost of living allowed us an apartment that is considerably bigger and in better condition than our house on Nantucket. Initially, I expected that we would live here for a year or two, get to know the area, pay off more of our student loans, then start looking for a house. When we moved in February, we happily signed a 13 month lease.

Now, three months later, thinking about finishing that lease feels like staring down the barrel of a gun. This is the first time we have ever lived in an apartment, and while the we’re in one of the nicest complexes in town and I’m still loving all the extra space and newness, I am completely over not having a yard. Living in an apartment with kids is ok. Living in an apartment with a dog is doable. But living in an apartment with kids and a dog is down right awful.

When the weather is nice, it’s not too bad. We put on our walking shoes, roll out a stroller and set out to get some exercise and enjoy the sunshine. There are tons of parks in our new town; there are plenty of places for play and fun that also allow Pip to get out of the house.

But when it’s snowing or raining or so windy that Nora is literally getting blown over, not having a yard to let Pip out in is a serious challenge. If the girls can’t go out with me, I can’t take him for a walk or do anything other than stand in one spot which allows me to watch our door and rush to get back inside. Zara is no problem inside by herself for five or ten minutes. Nora, on the other hand, is just capable enough that she can get into big trouble if left alone for five minutes. I nearly had a heart attack once when I walked around the corner of the building with him only to return and find wide open the door I had deadbolted shut. That taught me to never take my eye off the door and, as Nora is so good at getting into things, I also hurry Pip quickly back inside. I feel so bad for our doggie who is used to being able to go outside whenever and forever long as he wants.

The dog and children combination makes apartment living a true challenge, and thus we have officially started searching for houses. Living on Nantucket, owning a home was a fantasy — it was something we only thought could potentially happen through a 40B development like Sachem’s Path. Similarly, home prices when we lived in New York were beyond our grasp. But here, here it isn’t only realistic to think about buying a house, it is actually cheaper for us to own a home than to rent.

We put a bid on a HUD house spontaneously last week, just before the bidding period ended, and though we didn’t get the house (lost it by $500, I’m going to be kicking myself for weeks) just beginning the process was exciting. We have more house tours planned for this week and I’m hopeful that we will find something we love soon, which means we might be able to again look forward to gardens and clotheslines and watching our happy dog laze in the grass. After, of course, we survive the craziness that it moving all over again.

Filed Under: Three: Wyoming, Uncategorized · Tagged With: Moving

May 23, 2013 by Amber · Leave a Comment