It’s two am and I really should be sleeping, but I’m having one of those nights when I can’t stop myself from trying to catch up, at least a little, on my emails, website work, blogging, and a million other things. One of the big downsides to Chris’ super long work days is that it is a lot harder for me to get everything I need to get done, done. Combine Chris’ work days with the fact that Nora no longer goes to preschool and some things are just down-right impossible. This is definitely a prime example of not knowing how good something is until it’s gone: I don’t think I realized just how productive I was during those preschool mornings until the I didn’t have them anymore. I’ve actually found myself thinking the past few weeks that I might want to become one of those stay-at-home moms — the ones who actually have a babysitter. I used to silently judge those moms — and now all I can say is, ladies, I’m sorry. I get it. 
Now I find myself trying to work on client websites in the wee hours of the morning, sitting in the corner of a living room minefield of books and toys, with bathrooms begging to be cleaned, dinner dishes still on the table, laundry that has needed to be moved from the washer to the dryer since noon, and company coming on tomorrow. Suddenly, a designated distractor just one morning per week is sounding better and better, and a lot more sensible than lazy.
If things continue at this pace, something has got to give, and it’s likely to be my work. I haven’t taken on many new major projects since we moved. Originally that was only going to be a temporary pause until we were settled in, and then I was going to start back up again. I wasn’t planning to fill my calendar at the breakneck pace of last fall, but I was hoping to keep adding websites to help Chris and me continue toward our goal of living debt free and buying a house. Lately, I barely have time for the odds and ends that come from maintaining past clients websites; I can’t imagine starting anything new, so work may have to go. How exactly do other people do it? How do other families balance kids and two full time jobs?
I haven’t found a mom’s helper (or whatever you would call it) yet, but we have implemented a system to (hopefully) get Nora to participate more in keeping the house clean and caring for herself.
We ordered a responsibility chart from Melissa and Doug, which I love because it comes with a lot of different responsibility magnets besides just chores. Every day, Nora is expected to make her bed, get dressed, brush her teeth, not whine, say please and thank you (something that she has a lot of trouble with outside of our family), put her toys away, and not have any potty accidents. She still gets help with most of these things and she isn’t expected to be “perfect” — her bed can be wrinkly, she might still get a magnet if she whines once or twice during the day, etc. At the end of the week she doesn’t have to have earned every single magnet to get a reward. Mainly my goal is to get her started thinking about taking initiative and, as much as I don’t like saying it, to act more like a big girl. We aren’t expecting her to do things that are beyond her capabilities, but we are asking her to be more consistent about doing the things she is capable of doing but sometimes doesn’t simply because she doesn’t want to.
We aren’t doing allowance, but I have started incentivizing her responsibilities on both a daily and weekly basis. Her daily reward on days that she does well is 30 minutes of computer time, during which she is allowed to play educational games in PBS Play. As much as I dislike excessive screen time, I ended up buying a subscription and deciding to use it as her reward for two reasons: it does seem to be legitimately educational and it also helps to fill the time of night that can often be the most challenging when i am parenting alone. I also like it because I was able to set a timer in the game so it just stops working after 30 minutes — which means we don’t ever have battles over turning it off.
Nora’s weekly reward in an experience of her choosing. When we first explained the system to her, we had her brainstorm a list of activities that she would like to do if she has a good week.
In case you can’t read that, she said: bowling, movie night (at home), playing together, swimming, picnic, or going to a museum. So far it seems to be working relatively well. If you follow me on Facebook, you know that we still have our moments, but I have definitely noticed a change in her attitude and willingness to help the last two weeks. I’m hopeful that this system will continue to work and Nora will continue to develop into the sweet little helper that she is. Between this and Zara’s new found love for the sling, 
hopefully things might start to shape up around here…and maybe some day I’ll be able to go to bed “early” at 11:30 or midnight.
On Nantucket, it’s not uncommon to hear talk of summer widows. Once, long ago, widows were made by the sea. They stood on rooftop decks, long skirts blowing in the wind, watching the horizon and waiting. Waiting for the ships to come home; praying for husband’s work to end safely and soon. Now, widows are made seasonally, not subject to whales and storms, but the rush of tourists and summer folk who bring just a few good months of work. With the high cost of living and only five months out of the year to make it, many Nantucket children spend summers frolicking in the waves while one parent or another works long hours to pay the bills and many Nantucket wives parent for hours on end alone.
Chris was able to connect with a few ranchers about getting local meat for his restaurant, and I spoke at length with 
bread packs ($10 conventional or $12 organic)
granola, coconut oil, and bulk size packages of produce, like this 25lb bag of carrots ($10.50).
A welcome visit from one of my brothers and my maternal grandmother,
who came bearing gifts and three days of love for our little girls.
Then, when things were settling back into our normal rhythm, this adorable little strawberry
followed their departure with a night or two of not sleeping long stretches on her own, instead needing to be cuddled in our bed during hours I might have otherwise been writing. 
As much as I love, love, love having a baby in my bed, I’ve also gotten quite used to have a few hours of writing time to myself each night so any shifts in sleep can be a challenge.
(Even if that first post-baby outing only lasted 40 minutes and one beer, due to a frantic SOS from Chris.)
This was the first time either of us had been west of our town and I was grateful to have the chance to see a little bit more of our new state on top of some much needed family time. Chris is getting busier and busier as we near the opening date for his new restaurant so we’re taking family time where we can get it, and it doesn’t get better than an afternoon adventure to some place new.
It didn’t take us long to get out of town and into the incredible landscape of high desert plains. I had fully expected this part of Wyoming to be similar to western Iowa or Kansas, comprised of gently rolling prairie and a whole lot of flat. But it turns out that northern Wyoming is rough and rugged with gullies you wouldn’t want to get stuck in during a rain storm and a sky big enough to rival Montana. Not far to the west, mountains rose up as a backdrop to clouded foothills and a breathtaking view.
I had to, of course, stop for some pictures.
(Which was timed quite nicely with a break in the rain.)
Weather here is going to take some getting used to. It’s just as well that there are no beaches within sight; it’s still quite cold, and not just in the mountains: we got another dusting today! Luckily, though, Saturday wasn’t as bad and though it rained for most of the drive, the sun peaked out just in time for us to get to the mountains.
Let me tell you, there is nothing like living two months in our part of Wyoming to make you want to kiss a tree. The severity of our current landscape makes the nearby mountains all the more awe-inspiring — especially when decorated with a handful of rainbows.
I am a stay/work-at-home mother balancing freelance work, motherhood, and trying to keep a clean house all at the same time. In addition to spending my days playing with my two amazing girls, I'm a Certified Lactation Counselor and a website & graphic designer. I just moved from Nantucket to Wyoming and am getting my land legs back after three years 30 miles out to sea. 
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